Don’t lose your identity after marriage!
It was 11 a.m. Ritu had not arrived yet. She was rarely late in the office. Looking at the time, I again resumed my work. About 20 minutes later, I saw Ritu entering the office. Boss was standing near her seat. He hated late comers. I quickly took some papers in my hand to ask a doubt from the boss. Not there was a doubt, but I created one. So, that the boss gets busy, and Ritu can safely reach to her desk. Somehow, I succeeded, and boss left busy in his own thoughts. Ritu waved and whispered thank you to me. I waved back with a smile.
At lunch, it was finally time to share our joys and sorrows. Ritu and I were friends from college. We got placement together. She was such a happy bird, ambitious, passionate, sporty and cheerful. On the other hand, I was reverse — shy and conserved. Even after having opposite personalities, we would talk for hours together, share our happiness, woes, everything.
Today from her face, I could sense her spoiled mood. She was upset. Ever since she got married, she changed. The circumstances changed her. The joyful loving Ritu had turned into a conserved one. But somehow, we had not led our circumstances to affect our friendship.
‘What’s wrong Ritu?’
‘Yeah, all well. This morning returned back from visiting in-laws.’
‘What is it? Something happened?’
‘Nothing unusual. It's so normal for them to treat their daughter in laws like that.’
There were tears in her eyes but somehow, she controlled them to let them flow. I felt so bad for her. Why does marriage make girls suffer so much? She further continued.
‘Whatever I do, my mother-in-law finds a fault in that. No matter how much I try but she is never happy with my work. In spite of being equally educated to his son, she expects me to do each and every work by my own. From cleaning house, cleaning toilets, cooking, washing utensils, washing clothes and what not. The list never ends. She treats her son as well educated and doesn’t allow him to move a finger. But she takes me so much granted that my degree doesn’t matters to her. And this is when she is not educated at all. I washed clothes and in front of my husband, she started complaining that I didn’t wash them well. When I said that you always have complains, she started complaining against me to my husband. I left the room. I only heard him saying that you should not have said like that. On the counter she replied that I want your clothes to be clean. Is that too much to ask from your wife? She went on, adding issues one after another.
He was so upset that he didn’t talk to me. I felt bad too. This is the price I pay to even reply such a small thing. Why can’t she understand that if I am not happy, how will I keep our kid happy? What has she made me? A washer woman, a cook, a toilet cleaner, utensil washer, in short, a servant. I should rather say a well-educated servant.
I realize that I have to take care of my husband but that doesn’t mean that they have to treat me like shit.”
Tears started flowing from eyes. I was awestruck. Lunch time was about to be over, and we had not touched our foods. My heart went out to her. These are the women who crushes their daughter in law’s identities after marriage.
Can complaining sort out the problem? Can creating misunderstanding between the husband and wife give the in-laws more happiness to them? Why can’t they understand such a simple thing? Why can’t they be happy if their children are happy? Is the uneducated mother in laws jealous from their well-educated daughter in laws? Does treating their daughter in laws this way makes them happier?
Weird but true.
