Don’t hesitate to ask for help!
This is the story at the time of covid pandemic. ‘I Need Help!’ were Sarla’s words on the phone. She had called suicidal helpline number before jumping off the terrace. She wanted to give one last chance to her life. Sarla and her husband lived in Bangalore. Sarla was a corporate employee while her husband was sub-inspector. Due to pandemic, Sarla was working from home while her husband ‘Satish’ had to go on his duty everyday. Earlier, Sarla also used to go to office but due to pandemic, her company had given employees work from home. Initially, work from home was very relaxing and interesting. The work timings had become flexible but the house work was still there. Earlier, she would finish her housework in the morning and leave for office but now, it seemed that the housework was there all day combined with office work. It had started to take a toll on her health. She wanted to share her feelings with Satish but whenever he used to return from office, he would be extremely tired due to work pressure. Due to this environment, Satish and Sarla would often have fights. Satish would become irritated and would leave the house. Either he would go to terrace and start talking on his phone or visit his friend.
Sarla would keep waiting for him. He would return late at night. She would get more pissed. The tension between them was increasing. Sarla understood the work pressure Satish had to undergo but she also needed him to share her feelings. Slowly, insomnia took on her. She would not be able to sleep even if Satish was there. She would keep walking in the balcony of her home at night. The covid cases were increasing alarmingly. Satish had to do night duties also. Some days he would not come home for a week.
Who was at fault? Sarla just couldn’t understand. It was the pandemic who had caused havoc on everyone’s lives. People were losing their family members, and some were losing themselves not physically but mentally and Sarla was one of them. Sarla would talk to her friends and other family members on phone, but nothing seemed to work. She only wanted her husband’s attention and love. How easy would it be to say that she should have focused on herself? She should have understood her husband’s situation. Do you think she didn’t give a try?
She did! She cooked new dishes. She made videos for social media. She would sink in her office work. She would try her best to keep herself occupied but when it was time for her to sleep, Satish’s behavior would come her in mind. They were drifting apart. No matter how much Sarla thought that she would keep patience, she would end up in a heated argument with Satish. Sarla was an occasional drinker. Earlier, if she had ever got so much anxiety, she would take few pegs and next day she would have been fine but due to lockdown, she couldn’t get a drink and the anxiety was increasing day by day.
After the lockdown opened, Sarla went out to buy some groceries and she bought cans of beer too. Later in the night, when she couldn’t sleep, she drank two cans of beer and slept but at 4:30 in the morning, she got up. Satish hadn’t come home. She was missing him. Sarla wanted to call him, but it was too early. At 8 am, she called him.
‘What do you want? I am not coming home. I have so much work to do,’ Satish had answered before even she said hello. She just disconnected the call. All her anxiety which had become silent in the night had arisen again. She felt terrible by Satish’s behavior. She took the phone in her hand and went to terrace. She didn’t want to live anymore. It was becoming too much for her to bear. She wanted to end this pain forever.
She looked at her phone. She wanted to talk to her friends and family members but what could she tell them that she was having suicidal thoughts? What would they think of her? They would judge her. No, she couldn’t bear another pain in her heart. Before jumping off, she wanted to give one last try. She searched for suicidal helpline numbers and dialed the first number. Immediately she got a back call.
‘Hi!’ came a lady’s voice from another end.
‘I need help!’ said Sarla and broke into tears.
The lady on the other side heard complete story of Sarla. She let Sarla speak everything. After an hour, Sarla had stopped crying. She was feeling better. The lady gave her number of a counsellor. Sarla thanked her and went back to do her office work.
Dear Readers,
It’s never late to ask for help. If you think you cannot share your feelings with your closed ones, there are lot of helpline numbers. Please do not hesitate to dial. They even don’t ask your personal details.
This story is inspired from true events during the year 2020. Still, there are people who are suffering from mental health issues. Please do not ignore. Act before it's too late.
